


I Dive Deeper for You

by ajp



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: But sometimes that's okay, Calum falls into a coma, Car Accidents, Friends to Lovers, M/M, OR IS IT??, Unrequited Love, it's very cheesy, then ~confessions~ happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:00:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24050977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajp/pseuds/ajp
Summary: It was impossible to explain that you didn't want to hang out with your absolute best friend without telling him that you had maybe, kinda, sorta fallen head over heels for him.
Relationships: Michael Clifford/Calum Hood
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	I Dive Deeper for You

**Author's Note:**

> listen i have no idea how comas work, but i'm using it as a plot device, so we're just going to go with it
> 
> also the title is from red desert because i cannot stop listening to it

After a long day of recording new music, all the boys wanted to do was go to their individual homes and fall asleep for as long as they were physically able to. As it was, Calum laid sprawled out on a spare couch outside the recording booth. His eyes were closed and he had one leg dangling off the edge and onto the floor. He was halfway to sleeping when a large Michael-sized weight collapsed on top of him. 

"Eurgh, Mikey, geroff me you fuckin' oaf," Calum slurred out, brain jumbled from his drowsiness.

Michael squirmed and nuzzled his nose into the junction of Calum's neck and shoulder like a cat seeking out warmth. Calum felt his chest tighten and his stomach erupt with butterflies as Michael settled into him. He was too tired to deal with the bubble of feelings and love that filled him up, so instead of gently scratching Michael's hair like every fiber of his being was telling him to, he pushed his friend clean off of him and straight onto the floor.

"What the fuck, bro?" Michael asked, more than a little annoyed at his new position. Calum shrugged in response and closed his eyes again, desperately trying not to show his friend the true remorse that he felt.

Michael, though, ever determined to test Calum, stood right back up and sat down on Calum's stomach so that he wouldn't be able to get thrown off as easily. Calum tried to punch him in the side, but Michael grabbed his wrists and pinned them to his chest and, oh, maybe Calum liked that a little to much.

"What do you want?" Calum huffed out, wiggling back and forth and pulling on his wrists to try and distract himself from the fact that Michael was literally on top of him and holding him down.

"Can you give me a ride home?"

Calum scrunched his nose, "Do I have to?" Michael lived a solid 15 minutes out of his way and one-on-one time with him was proving to be a treacherous task.

"Yes, you have to," Michael lamented. "My car's still at the shop and Luke can't do it because he's hanging out with Sierra or whatever." 

Calum gestured vaguely towards the recording booth where Ashton was banging his heart out on the drums. "Can't he do it?" Michael shook his head.

"He's staying late," Michael grumbled, "but if I'm really that much of a bother, I can just Uber back or something; don't worry about it." 

Calum could tell that he had hit a nerve and immediately felt terrible for making Michael feel bad. It was impossible to explain that you didn't want to hang out with your absolute best friend without telling him that you had maybe, kinda, sorta fallen head over heels for him.

"Michael, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that," he said, ripping his hands out of Michael's grasp so that he could pull his friend to lay down on top of him. "Of course I'll give you a ride home." He kissed the crown of Michael's head where it was resting on his chest and wrapped his arms around the other boy's waist.

Michael relaxed into the physical contact, "You're lucky you're cute otherwise I wouldn't forgive you this easily." And though Calum knew Michael was just joking, he couldn't help the blush creeping up his face or the little fireworks exploding inside of him.

It was still another couple of hours before they could finally go home and Calum had never felt more grateful to be done working. He slid into the driver's seat of his car with a sigh and leaned his head back for a moment of rest.

"You sure you don't want me to drive?" Michael asked as he buckled himself into the passenger seat looking just as tired as Calum felt.

"No, no, it's okay. It just feels good to sit down again, you know?" Michael nodded his head sympathetically. 

The drive started well enough, in Calum's opinion, anyways. He and Michael had music playing and they were awake enough to scream-sing loud and proud without caring that they were incredibly off-key.

As they started to get into more traffic, their antics started to die down and they engaged in amicable conversation instead. Calum became more alert and put two hands on the wheel, gripping tight as he carefully passed yet another biker. It had just become dusk and he flicked on his headlights and tried to pay extra attention to all of the cars and people around him.

"Hey, watch out for that guy," Michael said offhandedly, pointing at an oncoming car, "he's driving like a fucking maniac." 

Calum glanced briefly over and nodded. The car kept swerving over the double yellow lines before violently veering back to his designated side. Calum tried to move closer to the edge of the road, but there wasn't much of a shoulder to rely on. He held his breath and gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles as the car was about to pass them. 

"Calum, watch out!" Michael cried suddenly. The headlights of the other car blinded them through the driver's window and all Calum could do was keep going and brace himself in the hopes that this was just going to be a near miss. 

But he had no such luck. The car slammed into the driver's side and sent Calum's car off the road with a crunch. Someone screamed, but Calum had no idea if it was him or Michael or both. Everything was happening so fast and the whole world was spinning and spinning until suddenly it wasn't anymore. Then everything faded to black.

For a while, he drifted in and out of consciousness, only away of his body being jostled and an intense pain shooting up his left arm. At one point, it seemed like someone was trying to say something to him, but the ringing in his ears was so loud that couldn't hear over it.

"Mikey?" He tried to say, but the word came out like a pained gargle instead. Everything in him was screaming with pain and fatigue, so when the blackness threatened to overtake him again, he just let it happen.

The next time he woke up, the first thing he noticed was how it was so bright that he couldn't bear to open his eyes against it. Behind his eyelids everything was unwaveringly red and yellow and he just laid there and hoped the feeling would start to disappear.

Eventually, it eased up a little and he could take into account the rest of his body felt. All over, he ached, and he could feel twinges of pain skitter up his arm. Nothing was responding to him, though, so he laid with his eyes closed, unmoving, hoping for something, anything, to happen.

After a while that could easily have been three minutes or three hours, Calum heard soft footsteps coming towards him. He assumed it was going to be a nurse checking on him, but they sat down in a chair next to him and gently grabbed one of his hands. Whoever it was was warm and soft and Calum wished he could figure out how to open his eyes and say something. 

"Hey, Cal," Michael's voice said quietly. Calum screamed internally, begging his body to make some indication that he was awake and listening. He didn't even twitch. 

Michael continued, "This is, uh, the first time I've seen you since the...since the accident." He sounded like he was choking back tears and Calum yearned to comfort him. "You've been out for, like, a week, but I've had a concussion, so they wouldn't let me come visit you." Calum could feel Michael's hand shake in his as tears started choking his words.

"This is stupid," Michael told him, but his tone betrayed him. "It's just...you can't go on me now, yeah? You've got to wake up at some point." Calum begged every muscle in his body to move, to do something. Even if he just barely squeezed Michael's hand back. Anything to let his friend know that he was there. 

"I mean, fuck dude," Michael said, "I've been in love with you since fuckin' high school, and now you're gonna d-- you're gonna leave me before I can work up the guts to tell you?" Michael broke off into unrelenting sobs and rested his head on Calum's leg, gripping his hand as hard as he could.

Calum, on the other hand, was going into overdrive. Michael loved him? Him?! He had though his schoolgirl crush on his best friend was entirely one-sided. Not only had he seen Michael date a slew of girls, but he also made no secret of the fact that he liked to hook up at parties. And this whole time he actually liked Calum? Calum, the boy who hadn't dated anyone since he was 15. Calum, who cried to Michael just a month ago when his beloved houseplant died. Michael had seen him at all of his most embarrassing moments and was so far out of Calum's league that Calum couldn't believe what Michael had just said.

And now, now that he knew? He couldn't even do anything about it. He had to lay there, silent and stone-still as his best friend cried over him. Michael's tears soaked into Calum's leg and didn't stop until two new sets of footsteps entered the room.

"Honey," Mrs. Clifford said, "you've got to let him go now. The nurse needs to perform her routine checks." From the sound of it, she shuffled her son out of the room while consoling him in a soft, hushed whisper.

The nurse went about her business without much noise and Calum could barely track her movements around his bed. Occasionally, she poked and prodded at him before scribbling something down onto a piece of paper.

"Calum" She asked. She pronounced his name like Kay-lum and he itched to correct her, but couldn't. He had hoped that maybe the spite would help wake him. 

The nurse continued as if he were awake, "Your vitals have improved dramatically and give every indication that you are responsive right now. Can you hear me?"

"Yes!" Calum screamed mentally as he willed his voice to work. 

"Okay," the nurse said, grabbing the same hand Michael had, "If you can hear me, can you squeeze my hand or make some other sign for me? I just need an indication, however small." Calum, for the umpteenth time, tried to make his body respond to his brain, but to no avail. 

After a minute of silence, the nurse gave his hand a cursory squeeze and left the room soon after. Calum wanted to cry in frustration and scream and kick and force his body to move. 

It was later that night when another nurse came to check on him that he was finally able to crack open his eyes. He had to close them again almost immediately due to the brightness of the light, but it was enough to get the nurse's attention.

"Can you do that again for me?" She asked, shielding the light from his eyes with her hand. He tried to give a verbal affirmation and a gurgled noise emerge from his throat. It certainly wasn't a word by any stretch, but something was finally happening! Encouraged, he coaxed his eyes open, and found himself staring up at an unfamiliar face.

"Very good!" She said, reaching for his hand with the one of hers that wasn't blocking the light, "Can you move your fingers?" Calum blinked a few times. He was still getting used to the fact his body was starting to listen to him and he shifted all of his energy to focusing on moving his hand. As soon as he was about to give up home, he twitched a little bit and the nurse smiled at him. 

"It's a good sign that you're regaining some motor control," she told him, but Calum could barely comprehend what she was saying to him. Every blink took energy he didn't have and sleep was starting to drag him under.

"I'll let you get some rest, and you can work on this more in the morning." Calum was asleep before she left the room. 

When he woke up the following morning, he was pleased to discover he could still open his eyes with relative ease. His mom was sitting next to his bedside on her phone and his dad was beside her reading a book. They both looked up as he started to stir. 

"Calum!" His mother cried, standing so that she could lean over and gently wrap her arms around his shoulders. The two of them smothered him in affection and he couldn't do anything but smile dopily at them.

"Hi," he croaked out after they had both sat down. His voice sounded like he had been smoking a pack a day for a few years, but it felt so good to talk and move that he couldn't wipe the grin from his face.

He spend the rest of the next few days oscillating between sleeping and spending time with the friends and family who visited him. One of his visitors included Michael, who had large bags under his eyes and one arm resting in a sling. He looked a little worse for wear, but Calum paid it no mind. He was accompanied by Luke and Ashton and although Calum was very grateful and excited to see them too, he couldn't wait to finally talk to Michael alone. Knowing that the butterflies in his stomach were reciprocated made it that much harder to ignore them.

However, it wasn't until almost a week after he was discharged from the hospital that he found his opportunity. He and Michael were laying in Calum's childhood bed at his parent's house, cozied up with a movie playing on the laptop in front of them. Calum was resting his head on Michael's shoulder and had been dozing in and out of sleep for hours. 

"Hey Mikey," he said groggily, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands.

Michael lightly scratched his hair, "Hey Cal. What's up?"

"I need to tell you something," Calum said, suddenly nervous about approaching the topic of his feelings. Michael noticed this, because of course he did, and somehow managed to pull him in a little closer.

"You can tell me anything, bro." Michael responded, trying to keep his tone light and casual so Calum wouldn't freak out even more.

"Okay," Calum assured himself, "but Mike you gotta promise you won't say anything or leave or anything until I'm fully done talking." He cast his gaze down and started playing with the hem of Michael's shirt to give his hands something to do. Insecurities and doubts creeped up into him and he could feel the blood pounding in his ears as he waited for Michael to respond.

"Uh," came the intelligent response. "Yeah, sure. I promise to stay here and shut up." Calum held out his pinky and Michael didn't hesitate to hook his finger with Calum's. 

Calum took a deep breath. He could do this. "So, when I was in the hospital I was in a coma for a week as, uh, as we both know." Michael nodded encouragingly. "But there was a point before I fully woke up where my brain was awake...my brain was awake, but my body wasn't, you know?" Michael furrowed his brow slightly, but didn't interrupt. Calum sniffled before continuing.

"Like, I could hear and process everything going on, but my body wouldn't respond to me," he broke off into sob, but tried to disguise it as a cough. He hadn't anticipated getting emotional about this part of what he had to say. 

Michael shifted and started rubbing his back soothingly. "You don't have to finish," he told Calum.

Calum shook his head, "No, no, no. I'm fine. This isn't even...this isn't the thing I needed to talk to you about." He sat there for a few more minutes, furiously wiping away his tears as soon as they sprung into his eyes. 

"This is stupid," he muttered to himself.

"Hey now. If it's making you upset then it's not stupid, okay? You're allowed to have feelings, and you're allowed to express them." 

Calum nodded, "Yeah I know," he said unconvincingly. This was so much harder to say out loud than he had anticipated. "I just...I, well....I heard everything you said when you came into my room and I've had a big, stupid crush on you since high school to," he finished in a rush.

"Wha--" 

"But, like," Calum continued like he hadn't been interrupted, "If you want to just ignore this conversation, like, it's fine. I won't be mad or anything." He could feel himself starting to ramble out of nervousness and forced himself to pause, take a breath, and give Michael a second to respond.

Michael opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before actually saying anything. "Are you being serious?" He asked incredulously. Calum nodded. "Like you're not just saying this because you heard me confess and you feel bad for me?" Calum shook his head vigorously.

"You can ask my sister if you don't believe me," Calum smiled softly, "She's been teasing me about you for years." A grin slowly made its way across Michael's face as he processed what was happening. He then started staring at Calum's face for so long that the latter was worried he had a piece of food stuck between his teeth or something equally as awkward.

"Can I kiss you?" Michael finally blurted out. Calum's eyes widened in happy surprise and he nodded enthusiastically. He had half a thought to feel embarrassed about it, but Michael looked at him so nicely that he couldn't bring himself to care. 

Michael tenderly put his hand on Calum's cheek and slowly leaned closer. Calum's eyes fluttered shut and Michael placed a sweet, chaste kiss on his lips. He could feel his whole being buzzing with sheer delight and he grabbed Michael by the shirt to pull him in for another kiss.

Michael kissed him deeper this time and Calum could feel his head getting a little foggy with it. He relinquished all control with barely a fight and instead let himself get lost in the feeling of it. Michael gently probed his tongue against Calum, who couldn't help but let out a little noise. Michael smiled against his lips and Calum thought he'd never been happier. 

Eventually, they had to pull away from each other, but Calum kept his hands firmly wrapped up in Michael's shirt. He kissed Michael quickly before resting his head on the other's collarbone. 

"Yeah?" Michael asked, his tone a little too smug for his own good. He kissed Calum on the head, though, so all was forgiven. 

"Uh huh," Calum responded intelligently, too kiss-drunk to say anything worthwhile. Michael laughed lightly and ran his fingers through Calum's hair. Calum could feel himself starting to doze off again and shifted so that he was completely pressed up against Michael's side. 

"Go to sleep, babe," Michael told him, and the hopeless romantic in Calum couldn't help but preen at the pet name. It was just one word, but it made butterflies flitter in his stomach and a blush rise up his cheeks. 

"Will you make out with me when I wake up?" Calum slurred, valiantly trying to keep his eyes open for just a little longer.

Michael smiled even though Calum wasn't looking at him, "We can do whatever you want." 

Calum drifted off between one breath and the next.


End file.
